Reevaluations

Sometimes I don't know where I get my motivation from. There are days, few and far between, where I feel so empowered, and sure of myself. The past year has been full of days very opposite from that. I've been reevaluating my educational goals and questioning myself a lot. I've decided that I don't want to go to vet school. At least not now.

Maybe someday in the future I'll be inspired to pursue a DVM, but right now I don't think I could handle it. Even if I did decide to go I don't have the grades to get in. I was never all that sure about college, but I was aware that it was something expected of me. I'm not a first-generation college student. On my dad's side, he, his sister, and their parents have all received bachelors degrees or higher.  It's nothing special that I made it into college. And being in college, I've learned that the main thing they care about is getting you in and out in 4 years. The idea of not graduating in 4 years seemed like a horrible thing, because not graduating on time means you're not as smart, or good enough. I know I'm not the smartest person, but I decided that I don't care about graduating "on time." If I'm spending all this money and putting myself through all this stress I should do what I want to do, at my own pace. College is supposed to be about exploring your options, discovering new things, and taking classes that you're interested in, not limiting yourself to a strict list of graduation requirements. If I can help it, I'm not going to take more than 3 academic classes at a time to give myself some breathing room, and time for potential jobs or volunteer things.

I'm trying to stay positive, but its been hard.

Anyways, my classes this quarter are: Biology (intro to organismal form and function), Philosophy (ethics), English (great books: romanticism through modern literature), and Music (jazz styles). That's 3 GE's and one support course. It's hard to keep up with all of the reading; I've been doing a poor job of it so far. I'm fairly confident that I'll pass everything, but I can't say I'll do so with the best grades. We'll just have to see how it goes.